


Into the Gremlin's Den

by AlexIsOkay



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13473063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsOkay/pseuds/AlexIsOkay
Summary: It's been weeks since anyone has seen Matsuri. Against her better judgement, Harumi decides to be concerned.





	Into the Gremlin's Den

Whenever Harumi tried to picture where Matsuri lived, she always imagined some sort of gremlin den, or a creepy dungeon, or maybe a literal dumpster that she dragged herself out of every morning. The exact nature of the image changed depending on the day, and on how much of a pain in her ass Matsuri had been recently. Whatever she envisioned, though, they all had one thing in common: they had turned out to be very, very wrong.

As Harumi stood at the gate to what had to be one of the nicest houses she had ever seen (and that was saying something, considering some of the girls she went to school with), she had to wonder if she was even in the right place. Yuzu hadn’t seemed the most confident when she had been giving the address.

“It’s either 457-108 or 108-457.”

“Those are on opposite sides of the city, Yuzu-chi.”

“It’s 457-108, I’m positive!”

“Positive?”

“...I think.”

Now that she was standing here at the address Yuzu had given her, though, plastic shopping bag in one hand and phone in the other, Harumi had to feel like Yuzu had given her the wrong location. She probably would have turned around and gone back home, had it not been for the little placard set into the brick post at the edge of the gate, bearing a clearly displayed surname: “ _ Mizusawa. _ ”

Shit. Maybe she was in the right place after all.

It was still hard for Harumi to believe that Matsuri actually lived in a place like this, but she had to admit that the evidence was all stacking up pretty quickly. Still, as she pushed the gate open and started to make her way up towards the front of the house, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was about to get tackled by security, or mauled by a guard dog. The borderline manor gave off that sort of vibe, especially knowing that Matsuri lived here. Fortunately, that didn’t happen, and she was able to reach the front step without incident. Pressing the doorbell didn’t cause the mat to fall away and plunge her into a trap door either, so at this point Harumi figured she was in the clear.

After she rang the doorbell there wasn’t an immediate response, which didn’t really surprise her. The house was large enough that she figured anyone inside would take a while to reach it. But with each second that ticked past she started to get a little more uneasy and a little more impatient, and eventually she found herself wondering if anyone was even going to answer. Stealing a page out of the other girl’s playbook, Harumi hadn’t actually warned Matsuri that she would be showing up. With that in mind, it wasn’t hard to imagine that Matsuri might not even be around to let her in at the moment.

After a solid minute had passed Harumi started looking back and forth between the doorbell and the path behind her, wondering if it would be better to ring again, or to just give up on what was suddenly starting to feel like a pretty stupid idea and walk away. The dilemma was resolved for her, though, when her attention was suddenly snapped back by movement on the other side of the frosted glass window set into the door. The lock clicked, the knob turned, the door opened a crack, and then Harumi could see Matsuri peering out at her from inside. And she didn’t look happy.

“What are you doing here?” Beyond the biting scowl she was wearing on her face, Matsuri didn’t look like her usual self. Her clothing was so wrinkled and ill-fitted that it looked like she had dragged it out of the bottom of the laundry basket. Her hair was such a tangled, oily looking mess Harumi couldn’t imagine it had been washed in the past week. Her face was makeup free, and she hadn’t bothered to put in earrings either. Harumi had to wonder when the last time she’d even bothered to leave her own house was.

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by,” Harumi replied, stretching an unnecessarily large, cheesy smile over her face as she leaned forward more, pushing her head into the gap between the door and the frame as much as she could. “So are you gonna invite me in now?”

“No.” As soon as she said that Matsuri tried to slam the door shut, although Harumi was quick enough to get her foot in the way before that could happen (which was a good thing, since otherwise her face would have been right in the collision path). It was still enough to knock her grin loose, though, and to cause her to let out a small sigh. She hadn’t figured it would be that easy.

“That’s a hell of a welcome,” Harumi grumbled under her breath. “Look, I didn’t come all the way out here so you could slam a door in my face. Either let me in or I’m breaking in. You know I can,” she warned. To prove her point she abruptly shifted to put most of her weight on the door, and even though Matsuri immediately braced to try to stop it, Harumi could feel it creak open a bit more. Matsuri glared at her through the crack for just a little longer before she finally stepped back, nearly causing Harumi to come tumbling into the house in the process.

“Fine,” she muttered, immediately turning her back to Harumi. “If you wanna come in and sit around in my living room or whatever you can. But don’t expect me to entertain you.”

As Harumi followed Matsuri into the house and began removing her shoes she wanted to tell herself that this was Matsuri as usual, but unfortunately, she couldn’t pretend that was really the case. She was being a typical pain in the ass, sure, but there were too many other important differences to ignore. For one, Matsuri normally would have put up far more of a fight before letting her inside- either that, or she would have gone off on some lengthy rant about how Taniguchi-senpai had bothered to come all the way out here just to see her, and how that  _ obviously  _ meant that she was head over heels in love with her, or something equally obnoxious. Normally, she never would have let a detail like that just slip past her without comment.

Matsuri had been anything but normal lately, though, and that was the problem. Ever since the trip they had all taken, and since she had found out about Mei’s engagement, Matsuri hadn’t been much of anything. She had barely said a word for the remainder of the trip after that, and ever since they had all returned home, she hadn’t shown up at all. Normally Harumi couldn’t even go out in public without a healthy fear of Matsuri popping up out of a bush like some kind of terrifying stray dog who happened to have her scent, but as of late, that hadn’t happened at all. And as much as Harumi loved Yuzu, her friend’s head was buried too deep into whatever shit she had going on with Mei at the moment to even notice that anything was wrong outside of her own little bubble. So apparently this responsibility was falling on Harumi instead.

Fucking fantastic.

“Your family has a nice house,” Harumi commented, looking around at the interior once her shoes were off. It was as extravagant as the outside made it seem like it would be, with the entryway opening into a high-ceilinged living room. A large kitchen was attached on one side, and a curved staircase lead up to a balcony and the rest of the second floor on the other.

“Thanks,” Matsuri muttered back, moving towards the staircase. With no other indication of where to go Harumi started to follow along behind her, although when Matsuri was only a few steps up she stopped in her tracks, not even bothering to look back at Harumi as she spoke. “Where are you going?” she asked. “I told you. You can sit in my living room.”

“And you’re gonna leave me there alone?” Harumi replied, face twisting down into a scowl. “Then what’s even the point?”

“Beats me. But you’re the one who came here uninvited.” After she said that Matsuri started to walk again, dragging her hand along the bannister while she did. “There’s no way I’m letting you into my room.”

“You know, you make it really hard to give a shit about you sometimes.” Even though she had only made it a few more steps since she had started walking, Matsuri suddenly froze up again. Harumi couldn’t see her face, but she still took notice of the way Matsuri’s hand suddenly tightened on the railing, fingers digging down into the wood. There was a tense silence between them for a few seconds before she actually spoke.

“Is that what this is about?” she asked, and her tone had suddenly changed. Before it had been slow, quiet, flat, monotone. Lacking in any real interest or energy. But now, there was genuine malice behind it. “Are you pitying me?”

“I’m  _ worrying _ about you,” Harumi corrected. “Nobody’s heard from you in weeks. I brought snacks,” she said, holding up the plastic shopping bag she’d brought with her. “I figured we could eat them and hang out. We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want. But I’d at least like to know you’re still alive.” Once again, there were a few seconds of silence before Matsuri reacted, but she eventually turned around, stretching a hand out towards Harumi. Harumi took that as a good sign, lifting up the bag and letting Matsuri take it. Once Matusri had it she opened it up, peering down at the assorted fruity candies and beverages for a few seconds before shutting it again.

“You brought me grape. You know I like orange. Get out.” The reaction was so confusing and unexpected that Harumi didn’t even know how to respond at first, brain taking its time to register what she had just said.

“Are you serious?”

“Obviously,” Matsuri replied, before repeating, more sternly, “Get. Out.”

“Why are you being so stubborn?” Harumi demanded.

“I didn’t tell you to come here.” As she spoke Matsuri dropped the bag, letting it bounce down a few steps before it came to rest at Harumi's feet. “I have more important things to be doing. You’re wasting my time.”

“Like hell I am,” Harumi objected. “You’re not dressed to go anywhere right now. When was the last time you even stepped outside? Or-”

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” The outburst was so sudden, so unexpected, so unlike Matsuri- and yet it was exactly like Matsuri at the same time. It was exactly like she had been that night, screaming, trembling, breaking down in a way Harumi had never seen before. And as she looked up the staircase, she was greeted by the exact same sight. Matsuri’s hands were hanging by her sides now, clenched into tight fists. She was shaking. Her teeth were gritting together, and while her head was hung low enough that her matted hair blocked her eyes, Harumi was almost certain that if she could see them, Matsuri would be crying.

“I don’t need this from you,” she hissed out. Despite her best efforts to keep her voice steady and make herself sound menacing, though, Harumi could still hear the way it broke with each word. “I don’t need you coming all the way out here, feeling sorry for me-”

“Will you listen to yourself?? Not everyone who shows a little bit of concern is feeling sorry for you!”

“I don’t need you pulling this shit! I don’t need you treating me like a child-”

“Then stop ACTING like a fucking child!” Harumi snapped. “Stop assuming everyone’s looking down on you all the time! Do you think this is how adults deal with their problems? Running away the minute something bad happens?”

“I’m not running away!” Matsuri shouted, voice raising itself louder with each word. “I’m just-!”

“Blocking out everyone who wants to help? Shutting out the people who care about you?”

“I didn’t ask anyone to care about me!”

“No one does!” Harumi yelled back. “People don’t care about you because you ask them to! They just do it, whether you want them to or not! I don’t know how long you’ve spent thinking of yourself as some loner who’s too cool for everyone else around her, but that’s not who you are anymore! You have friends! You have people who give a shit, and you can’t pull stunts like this without them getting worried!”

“THEN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??” Matsuri’s head snapped up as she screamed the words out, and Harumi had her suspicions confirmed: the tears were streaming down her face now, but Matsuri was still shrieking through them. “You don’t let me do anything and then you come here to make me feel like shit for it! Do you just want me to pretend everything is normal?? Sit around and act like nothing is fucking wrong?? Go back there and look Yuzu-chan in the eyes and smile like she’s not getting lied to and stabbed in the fucking back?? I can’t do that! I  _ won’t  _ do that! You’re all supposed to be her friends and you won’t do shit! Why are you acting more worried about me than you are about her??”

Matsuri would have kept screaming until her throat was raw and she had exhausted every curse word in the language if Harumi hadn’t interrupted her. But as Matusri felt a pair of hands grab her by the shoulders and yank her forward she went silent, letting herself get wrapped up in the hug the older girl was offering her. She didn’t reciprocate, but she didn’t try to break free either, which was already more than Harumi had been hoping for.

“You’re not the only one who cares about Yuzu-chi,” she said, pulling Matsuri closer against her. Matsuri’s face was pressed into her chest, and she could feel her shirt getting wet from the tears, but she didn’t mind. “And you’re not the only one who’s worried about her. But in situations like this, there’s not much any of us can do…”

“We could tell her!” Matsuri insisted. “So she doesn’t keep getting lied to!”

“You want her to be happy, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then you need to let her work this out on her own.” Harumi knew it wasn’t a satisfying answer. She had her own issues with simply sitting around while something like this was going on as well, and there was still a part of her that didn’t feel right keeping a secret like this from her best friend, but she had long since accepted that her own involvement would only bring even more problems with it. The same held true for Matsuri as well.

“It’s bullshit,” Matsuri protested. “Not being able to do anything…”

“I know,” Harumi agreed. “It is.”

“I hate it…”

“I hate it too.”

“I just… I wanna be able to help her…”

“I know…” Harumi repeated, rubbing her hand up and down Matsuri’s back. “We all do.” As Harumi looked down she realized that the worst of Matsuri’s shaking seemed to have stopped. The other girl was clearly still upset, and it would probably be a while yet before the tears subsided as well, but Harumi hoped this might have helped. She could only imagine how long Matsuri had been holding all of this in for. It was good to finally let it out.

“Are you feeling any better?” she asked. Matsuri was silent, and Harumi let out a soft sigh. “Do you wanna go sit down? Eat the snacks I brought?”

“I told you…” Matsuri mumbled out. “I like the orange ones.”

“Alright,” Harumi replied. “Then I’ll go out and buy the orange ones.”


End file.
